The Last Leg

Four years ago, when T and I were dating, we signed up to run the Rex Lee 5K with my brother and sister-in-law. I hadn't run a competitive race since the Jaycee Relay in elementary school and went into it with the high ambition that I simply wouldn't die. My SIL is uber athletic and has long, lean legs and I was more than intimidated to be her unofficial "running partner". The race began and the combination of the charged atmosphere and the desire to not hold my SIL back pushed me to run faster and harder than I ever had. The course ended with a 3/4 loop around the track at BYU and the instant my feet hit the track I thought, "Oh good. I didn't die and even if I have to stop and walk, I'll at least make it." My SIL turned to me and said, "I'm gonna sprint to the end now, alright?" I thought she was kidding and then she bolted ahead to the finish line. I tried to find my final "kick" and realized I had nothing left. Three other girls passed me before I got to the finish line. I couldn't believe these superwomen. How in the world could they still have energy left? My powercells were empty, my ribs ached and though I finished with a respectable 25 min. 44 sec. time, the only thing that really made it better was the free loaf of Great Harvest bread and the kiss T and I shared at the end.

It feels like I'm running that race again. Since we got the girls' weight estimates on April 30 I've been ceaselesslly trying to eat more (barfy Ensure) and rest more and help them keep growing. Today I had another ultrasound and received the following weight estimates:

• Baby A: 5 lbs. 9 oz
• Baby M: 4 lbs. 6 oz.

I was disappointed that they hadn't gained more weight. I felt like I'd been doing everything I could and it hadn't been enough. It was as though I saw the finish line, started sprinting, and then had someone tell me I was only walking. Bummer.

Later today I had another non-stress test and my OB came to talk to me about the results of the ultrasound. I had sent him an email after my ultrasound asking if we should reschedule my C-section for a later date so the girls could keep putting on weight. My OB had consulted with another OB after seeing the results and had nothing but praise and encouragement. He told me how well I'd done making it this far, that the girls are both testing healthy, and that quite frankly they don't expect large babies from "petite" women, especially when they're two babies involved. He and the other OB both feel that the girls will put on weight quicker after they're born then they will if they continue to stay inside me.

So our C-section date is holding fast for 9:00AM on Memorial Day. (I'm praying I don't go into labor before then.) I'm still going to drink Ensure and continue grazing and resting, but the finish line is in sight. And just as before it'll be a sweet victory regardless of the time or the weights as long as T gives me a kiss and our little angels are safe and healthy. That said, a loaf of Great Harvest bread wouldn't hurt either, but first things first: I have to finish the race.

*What is the problem with that tricksy little lying widget? I assure you on it's on real countdown mode now, with the end being our c-section a week from today.*