The Last Leg

Four years ago, when T and I were dating, we signed up to run the Rex Lee 5K with my brother and sister-in-law. I hadn't run a competitive race since the Jaycee Relay in elementary school and went into it with the high ambition that I simply wouldn't die. My SIL is uber athletic and has long, lean legs and I was more than intimidated to be her unofficial "running partner". The race began and the combination of the charged atmosphere and the desire to not hold my SIL back pushed me to run faster and harder than I ever had. The course ended with a 3/4 loop around the track at BYU and the instant my feet hit the track I thought, "Oh good. I didn't die and even if I have to stop and walk, I'll at least make it." My SIL turned to me and said, "I'm gonna sprint to the end now, alright?" I thought she was kidding and then she bolted ahead to the finish line. I tried to find my final "kick" and realized I had nothing left. Three other girls passed me before I got to the finish line. I couldn't believe these superwomen. How in the world could they still have energy left? My powercells were empty, my ribs ached and though I finished with a respectable 25 min. 44 sec. time, the only thing that really made it better was the free loaf of Great Harvest bread and the kiss T and I shared at the end.

It feels like I'm running that race again. Since we got the girls' weight estimates on April 30 I've been ceaselesslly trying to eat more (barfy Ensure) and rest more and help them keep growing. Today I had another ultrasound and received the following weight estimates:

• Baby A: 5 lbs. 9 oz
• Baby M: 4 lbs. 6 oz.

I was disappointed that they hadn't gained more weight. I felt like I'd been doing everything I could and it hadn't been enough. It was as though I saw the finish line, started sprinting, and then had someone tell me I was only walking. Bummer.

Later today I had another non-stress test and my OB came to talk to me about the results of the ultrasound. I had sent him an email after my ultrasound asking if we should reschedule my C-section for a later date so the girls could keep putting on weight. My OB had consulted with another OB after seeing the results and had nothing but praise and encouragement. He told me how well I'd done making it this far, that the girls are both testing healthy, and that quite frankly they don't expect large babies from "petite" women, especially when they're two babies involved. He and the other OB both feel that the girls will put on weight quicker after they're born then they will if they continue to stay inside me.

So our C-section date is holding fast for 9:00AM on Memorial Day. (I'm praying I don't go into labor before then.) I'm still going to drink Ensure and continue grazing and resting, but the finish line is in sight. And just as before it'll be a sweet victory regardless of the time or the weights as long as T gives me a kiss and our little angels are safe and healthy. That said, a loaf of Great Harvest bread wouldn't hurt either, but first things first: I have to finish the race.

*What is the problem with that tricksy little lying widget? I assure you on it's on real countdown mode now, with the end being our c-section a week from today.*

Thar She Blows

Well, folks, looks like it's time for an updated pregnancy picture. Here we go:

We went to the beach this last weekend and T snapped this picture of me without my knowing. Yep. It's like that these days. Babette A, the larger one, moved about four days ago so that instead of laying along my left side she's poking straight out. Aside from the fact that this didn't help me visually, my skin has been burning and constantly ripping out stretch marks since she moved. Not too much fun. Among the other joys that accompanied her move are:

• I now sleep with six pillows and still can't get comfortable. Not to mention I get this weird restless legs thing at night and my legs kick and kick and kick and kick and keep me awake.
• Everyone seems to be commenting on my tummy size. For example, Sister Uplifting approached me after sacrament on Sunday and said, "Oh, you poor thing! I kept looking at your shirt (my second largest maternity shirt, btw) and thinking that those buttons were about to pop."
• I have one, count em', one pair of pants that fits me comfortably. The girls' weight is so low that I have to wear these baggy cabana pants that can tie underneath my Buddha belly.
• When Babette A kicks me now, it's gives me excruciating pain.
  
• I'm just plain tired.

How's that for optimism. The worst thing is that I feel guilty for acknowledging that I'm miserable right now. I know I have innumerable reasons to be grateful, so it makes me feel horrible for complaining. Yet, I still want to say it. Maybe for sympathy, maybe for posterity, who knows?

In any event, here are fresh pictures that we took exactly one hour ago.

36 weeks and 2 days

I am smiling.

To end on a positive note, the following conversation actually occurred on Sunday:

Lady at church: "How are you?"

Me: "Big."

(chuckles)

"Well, how are the babies doing?"

"They're doing well, we had an ultrasound and found out one of them is about a pound and a half smaller than the other so we're hoping for a little more time before they're born so she'll get bigger."

"Oh, goodness! Now, can they deliver the bigger one and leave the smaller one in there so she can keep growing?"

"Ummm.... no. No, they can't do that."

"Huh. Too bad, because that would be nice."

Smatterings

This post is compiled of smatterings: random tidbits of information that are completely unrelated to one another, but need to be said.

• In case you noticed, I changed the twin widget on our blog to be counting down to May 18. On that date, the girls will be 37 weeks and considered "full term". The 40 week due date of June 8 was just too depressing and far away for me.
• We had another doctor's appointment today and found that I haven't dilated any further! Woo hoo! However, because Babette M is so much smaller than Babette A they started non-stress tests today that they'll continue twice a week for the remainder of my pregnancy. They put a fetal heart rate monitor on each of the girls and use another one to measure contractions. Well, A & M weren't big fans of those monitors and wouldn't stop kicking. They kicked them off so many times that the nurse had to sit there holding them on my tummy for 20 minutes. Results: Both girls are strong and healthy and I'm having no contractions.
• Ahh contractions... Wednesday night I was awake from 1:30 AM - 4:00 AM with contractions and pain. I thought I might have been going into labor, but we were blessed and they stopped. Today we learned that Babette M is now head down, but Babette A has her bum and legs covering my cervix. My doctor said that some of the pain/contractions were likely Babette M turning herself.
• After the night of contractions, the girls dropped. This is good because I can suddenly breathe and eat again! This is bad because walking and standing just got a lot more taxing. Overall, I say more good than bad.
  
• For two nights in a row, E has been completely hilarious after he was laid down. Last night he randomly started yelling, "Dad!!! Help! Fire!" T went in and told him, "E we don't joke about that." To which E replied, "Actually, I have to go potty." Tonight, he randomly started yelling, "Dad!!! Help!!! There are snakes in my room!" T had taken Lexie on a run, but I stood outside E's door holding my sides. He then proceeded to loudly make-up stories about the snakes that came from the jungle and went into his room, etc. It was hilarious! It should be noted that his yelling tone was an "I want attention" not an "I'm truly distressed" tone.
  

Part Two: The Girls' Room

Last summer I went to Downeast Outfitters and found the most beautiful, girly crib quilt I'd ever seen. It was a soft, patchwork, Pottery Barn quilt with feminine colors that covered the whole rainbow. I instantly fell in love and said to myself, "Self, if you ever have a girl baby you'd love for her to snuggle in this quilt." and ran to the cash register to make it mine.

Flash forward 8 months and I'm having two little girls. But I only love one quilt. Bummer.

It seems I've run into this problem a lot since we learned we were having "twins". My take on our whole baby situation is that we happen to have two of our daughters arriving on the same day. Are they going to be the same? No more than I expect them to be exactly like E. To me, they're two distinct, seperate individuals who'll share the same birthday. I want them to know that from the get-go I've prized their individuality.

When I set out to design their room the quilt caused a problem. I love that quilt. I couldn't give it to one of them because then the other would be getting sloppy seconds. Believe me, I looked all over to find another quilt I loved as much and just couldn't. In fact, every other quilt I saw just didn't measure up to the one I had. So about two weeks ago, I decided that the only thing to do was copy the pattern with different fabrics and make them quilts. I went on Etsy and found the most adorable fabric collection and ordered enough fat quarters and yardage to make complimentary quilts, with one having mostly greens and the other mostly pinks.

The fabric came. I laid it out. I realized I liked the pink quilt more than the green quilt. Not funny. I was bugged and the only solution seemed to be to make them matching quilts, but I put a blank panel in that I personalized with their own initial. It took a lot of work and time, but luckily I love their quilts and the fabrics I picked more than the one I bought last summer so in the end everyone wins!

As for the rest of the room, a huge thank you to my M-I-L for sewing the crib skirts this last Saturday. The rest of it all came together collorabitively (T, E, & Me) and we did the whole room for under $120. That $120 includes:

• Both quilts
• Bumpers
• Decorations
• Crib skirts
• Window treatments
• All paint

The only things the $120 excludes is the changing pad and one more crib mattress. The rest of the furniture we either already owned or had given to us. Sweet frugal victory.

I absolutely adore their room! It's everything I wanted: feminine, soft, calming, beautiful. I love that it can grow with them because it's not an obnoxious, juvenille theme. I love that it makes me want to curl up in their cribs and remember how it felt to be a child princess. I hope the girls love it as much as I do.

View when you enter the room

A's Quilt

A's crib set-up

Window between A and M's cribs. Though it may seem unjustified from the picture, the valance is my second favorite thing in their room. It used to be a coverlet on T's great-grandmother's bed and the little dots are yellow pom-poms made of yarn. The texture of it is awesome and when we found it in the antique cedar chest we inherited I knew someday it would have a great purpose. Behold, it's purpose has been found.

M's quilt
(Side note: M's quilt turned out better than A's did and I was actually relieved by that. It seems that if I sew something for the girls I sew M's first and then after I've passed my learning curve I do A's and it's more polished. Unconciously, I did M's first, but somehow it turned out better!)

M's Crib

Rocking chair. Also an antique we inherited from T's great-grandmother.

To my quilting friends, (aka: Melissa & Victoria for sure)

I quilted the quilts on my machine and the back of both the quilts puckered pretty bad. I've decided I don't care enough to redo the quilts, but what did I do wrong? I pinned M's, found the puckers and thought maybe I should baste A's. I basted A's and the same thing happened, only worse. The backing fabric is a sheet set that's 60% cotton/40% poly and the front is 100% cottton. Could that have caused the problem? Help. I'm clueless!

Part One: The Girls' Womb

My family has been requesting a current picture of pregnant me and so tonight we set out to fulfill their desires. T asked if we could Photoshop one of them to trick everyone and, truth be told, we were going to. Then we actually took the pictures and realized we don't need Photoshop at all.
Yep. That's me. Feeling pretty big these days and sportin' a new haircut. Other pregnancy updates include:

• My ultrasound went well. T surprised me, took off work and met me there! When I saw him I thought, "That man is wearing the same shirt my husband wore to work today." Then I realized that man was my husband! We found out that both the girls are breech and the "head" my OB thought he felt was actually Baby A's bum. This basically means I'll end up having a C-section. As for their weights:
  
• Baby A: 5 lbs. 2 oz.
  
• Baby M: 3 lbs. 9 oz.
  
• I'm not having any contractions, which is very good because I'm praying the girls will stay inside until Baby M gets bigger.
  
• I have the appetite of a two-year-old. I know this because E can out-eat me now. My stomach is so squished that I can hardly eat. My OB recommended I drink Ensure throughout the day to get adequate calories and T has been pumping it down my throat. Yuck. Whatever I have to do to help them grow.
• In the last week I've lost all energy. T's boss let him change his work schedule so he's home by 3:30PM and can take care of E and me. Today was our first day of the new schedule and it was blissful for me. I have such a great husband.

That's all for now. We'll keep you posted with more info.

(End note: You may have noticed I'm answering my phone less. Don't take it personally. Talking on the phone takes energy, which I really don't have a lot of, and I turn my phone off when E and I nap. Assume no news is good news and if you're really worried call my mom. I check in with her once a day so she can assure you I'm alive. Thanks for your concern and understanding.)

UPDATE

T couldn't resist the desire to Photoshop. For your viewing pleasure:
Subbing in for Octomom


T titled this: "Thin At Heart"
I titled this: "A Tummy Tuck Gone Horribly Wrong"