Situation #1: "Joe Camel"
Our neighbors across the street are wonderful people with grown children the age of T and I. We frequently take them treats, go over and talk with them, and other such good neighborly associations. They're both retired, they adore E and have offered to watch him at any time for any reason. When my unexpected second ultrasound came up, they watched E and he had a blast. Here's the catch: the man of the house smokes. Never inside, only outside, and he walks away to a corner.
Fast forward to last week, E and I were playing with his toy kitchen and he put a toy carrot in his lips, pulled it out and exhaled, and repeated. I said nothing, but just looked at him thinking, "Is this really happening?!?!?" E then looked at me and said exuberantly, "Look, Mommy! I make smoke like "Tim"!"
I did say something, though I won't say what yet because I don't want your advice to be tainted. However, it's recurred about three times now and yesterday the driver in the car next to us was smoking and E told me how they were just like "Tim"! (with an "Aren't they cool!" tone of voice) What would you do?
Situation #2: Potty-Not-Training
E potty trained last spring because he brought it up. We were downstairs and he told me "fush"! After hand motions from him, I realized what he was talking about and the games began. He's never been night trained, though he does wake up dry from naps. In the last couple months, he's regressed big time. We were having change the underwear, but not the pants accidents up to 5 times a day. So T and I discussed and offered E an incentive; if he could stay dry all day he could have a cookie after dinner. Worked like a charm for about a week. Now instead of little, frequent accidents, he'll have one huge accident. After the accident he'll say, "Oh no, now E doesn't get a cookie. But I can try again tomorrow!" At least he's an optimist! Here's some other particulars that may factor into your advice.
- Taking away big boy/cotton underwear isn't really a punishment. He thinks pull-ups are equally cool, and diapers are pretty cool now too because that's what we keep buying for the babies.
- We do ask him if he needs to go potty from time to time. He always says no. Sometimes an accident occurs two minutes later.
- When he has an accident, E says, "Mommy!!! Potty!!!" and stands there frozen as the faucet begins to leak.
- We still help him get on the potty and wipe about 75% of the time. He can't unbutton pants and he's not super coordinated at doing it himself unless he's wearing elastiband pants. On top of that, he can't flush himself because our handles are pretty stiff and he can't reach the water faucets to wash his hands even when he's on his step stool.
- I want him at the the point where he can take care of it all by himself. I'm a realist and know that when the girls arrive, my hands will be pretty full so helping E go potty all the time is kind of unrealistic.
